Sunday, July 24, 2011

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It's Back To Work I Go...

As you may have guessed by this point, Carys is with us! She was born at 3:53 PM on June 14th, was 19.5 inches long and weighed 7 lbs. 8 oz. She is the love of our lives and I can't imagine a time before she was with us.

She is also the reason I've been slacking off of writing blog updates! She occupies much of my time these days, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Priorities have a funny way of shifting with the arrival of a new baby, I've found. Housework and other things that I placed pretty high on the list during our B.C. era (Before Carys) have given way to feedings, diaper changes, and time for snuggling.

Some day I'll post my birth story- I tried to write it shortly after coming home from the hospital, but my heart wasn't in it (exhaustion, I suppose), and it was stilted and dry.

Today marks the end of my maternity leave from work - I return on a part time basis this morning in about an hour. I am struggling with this part the most, I think. This will be the longest I've ever been away from my sweet baby bird- I know I'm going to cry my eyes out as soon as I'm in my car. Don't get me wrong- I know there are a lot of mothers that have it a lot worse than I do. I know I'm not going back full time, I know I am fortunate enough to not have to place her in daycare, but knowing these things doesn't lessen the ache in my heart. I spent the last (almost) year of my life connected to this little person every moment of the day, being able to reach down, put my hand on my stomach and feel her little wiggles and kicks- even though I've spent short amounts of time away from her since delivery, this feels so much different. There is a tiny part of me that will be glad to get a break, but it is vastly overwhelmed by how much I am going to miss seeing her little face. It is, and will always be the desire of my heart to be able to stay home with her, but I am able to realize that it's not a financial possibility for us right now and I'm willing to do what it takes to help take care of our family.

My body will be at the country club today, but my heart will stay here, snuggled in our cozy nest with my little bird.

I will post again soon with a real update, this was just what is on my (heavy) heart today.

No comments:

Post a Comment